Everyday Life
by IcesY
Summary: Just a story of Everyday Life.


his story struck me when I was feeling sorta depressed... please let me know what you think

Edited by: Cel...My editting Goddess

Dedicated to: Arty-chan,Cel and all the other people that have read my stories since the begining  
--  
I walk through the front door of my apartment.

Darien is there. He is always there and he always wants to talk or spend time together.

I ignore him and move towards the computer, only acknowledging him with a nod.

I don't feel like spending time with Darien; or with anyone else for that matter.

I just want to be left alone.

Don't get me wrong, I love Darien, I just feel so alone here, even when he's around. We live in Baltimore, on the east coast - thousands of miles from my friends and family. You should understand that I've dreamt about the east coast since I was a child, and now here is it front of me.

I am living my dream.

What's more, my true love is at my side.

Things couldn't have been happier, right?

But as the saying goes, looks can be deceiving.

Baltimore is beautiful until you spend some time living and working in it.

Then you see the true colors and nature of the city.

I work six days a week at a deli as a cook, preparing sandwiches, day in and day out or doing other disgusting things like scrubbing the floors for grease marks. Darien works at the same deli as an assistant manager, so you think we would see each other all the time? 

Well, it's the only time really. When we're not working we spend our time apart. Not far apart, just a couple feet and in the same room 99 of the time. Yet it feels as far away as the moon, say 99 of the time.

It's my fault; I admit that much. I come home from work and jump on the computer trying to keep my old friendships alive, with my friends back in California. Moving one place to live your dream doesn't mean you don't miss another. And other then Darien, I really have no friends here. Yet lately, I have not even wanted to talk to them. It's not the same talking to them on the computer as in person, and as the months have passed since I moved out here, the number and length of our conversations have declined.

If I'm not chatting online, then I'm usually working on my writing or creating a webpage. I'm doing anything to keep myself occupied and to make the time pass.

Usually I go to bed while Darien is still at work. He comes home, and I know he wants to see a friendly smile. Between work and classes at John Hopkins, I know he is exhausted and just wants a hug. However, sometimes I pretend to be asleep when I hear him come in so he doesn't try and talk to me. When that happens, Darien goes and plays with his X-box or studies.

Like I said, it's my fault.

My friends back in California get mad because I don't talk to them.

My fiancé gets depressed because I don't spend time with him.

I get mad and depressed as well.

I am incapable of doing things to make the people I care about happy.

But I just don't care right now.

I can hear Darien laughing at something on the TV and I remember back. It was not that long ago when we would snuggle under the covers and watch it together, all the while kissing every so often and tickling each other. However, this was when love was young, and before I changed.

Believe it or not, I miss the old me that was able to laugh and have a good time.

I sigh and shake my head looking back at the blurry computer screen. I must be more tired than I think, for the screen still looks the same, despite my attempt to shake off my fatigue. I take off my glasses and run a hand over my face. To say the least, I am surprised to find that the blurriness isn't being caused by a lack of sleep, but by tears that have seeped from my eyes without my knowledge. I quickly wipe them away and put my glasses back on.

"Serena, are you okay?" Darien asks me while peeking around the door to the bedroom.

"Yes, fine." I say shortly, feeling guilty as soon as I said it.

I can not believe the person I had turned into.

It seems that depression has gripped me without mercy or any intention of letting me go.

I stare blankly at the computer screen for a moment, then sigh and turn the monitor off. I move into the bedroom, my clothes dropping to the floor as I go. I climb into bed and snuggle into Darien's side, with one arm curling around his waist under his laptop.

I smile sadly, there are times when I think that I haven't changed and things are just how they had always been, when I had first met Darien.

I feel Darien shut his laptop and scoot down in the bed, his arms wrapping around me protectively. Like normal, I feign sleep. I know that I am faking, and Darien does too.

I let the warmth of his arms and the even pace of his breathing lure me into a slumber. Tears continue to fall down and they dry in sticky tracks to my cheeks. I can feel that Darien wants to ask what is wrong, and yet he doesn't because I know and he knows that I probably wouldn't tell him anyways.

And so we both fall asleep taking what comfort we can in each other.

Again I feel guilty and yet I can not escape the deadly grip of the depression that holds me.

No matter how much I wanted to.

I know that most of it is the fact that I miss my family and the valley where I used to live. I miss the weekend trips to the movies with friends from school. I miss being in college – I gave it all up when I came to Baltimore.

But more then anything, I miss him.

With that final thought, I start to drift off. Yet something comes over me and I turn towards Darien, clinging to him. I can feel his startled reaction, but it only lasts a minute before he pulls me to him.

I whisper something before night completely takes me from him.

"I'm sorry."

"I know Sere, I know. It'll be better some day."

He strokes my back, and for the first time in awhile, I sleep comfortably with his arms around me.

thats it I might write more on this later don't know yet


End file.
